DROOL:  Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't.  To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps.

GARBAGE CAN:  A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity.  You must try to push the lid off with your nose.  If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrapers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crust of bread to eat.

DEAFNESS:  This is a malady which affects dogs when their person want them in and they want to stay out.  Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction. or laying down.

LEAN:  Every good dog's response to the command "sit!", especially if your person is dressed for an evening out.  Incredibly effective before black-tie events.

BUMP:  The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.

LOVE:  Is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show love is to wag your tail.  If you're lucky, a human will love you in return .